We’re Not Fixing Behavior - We’re Recycling It

Okay, I’ve got your attention. Good. Now hear me out.

I’ve seen this firsthand—both as a teacher and as a parent.

Picture this:
A child is riding the bus. This particular spicy nugget has significant behaviors at school. We’re talking classroom evacuations. Safety plans. MTSS. Maybe even a behavior intervention plan.

Inside the school building, this child has supports.

But then…
They get on a bus with 50+ other kids, one driver, limited structure, and expectations that sound a lot like: “Just sit still and be fine.”

And then—shockingly—there’s a problem.

Maybe the child hits another student.
Maybe they refuse to sit.
Maybe they use scissors or a pencil to dig into the seat like they’re auditioning for a reality show called Extreme Upholstery Damage.

So what happens?

The child is suspended from the bus.
A week. Maybe two.

Everyone breathes a sigh of relief.
The driver gets a break.
The other students get calm rides.

And then…

The spicy nugget comes back.

And guess what?

👉 The behavior happens again.

And honestly? I am not surprised. Not even a little.

Because while the child experienced a consequence, they didn’t learn how to behave differently.

In fact, sometimes the “consequence” accidentally reinforces the behavior.
(If a child prefers being picked up by a parent instead of riding the bus, congratulations—we may have just rewarded the behavior without realizing it.)

So now we’re stuck on the world’s worst hamster wheel:

• Behavior happens

• Child gets removed

• Child returns

• Behavior happens again

Round and round we go.

And as the saying goes—this is the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

This exact pattern shows up everywhere:

• Bus suspensions

• Taking away recess

• Eating lunch alone

• Sitting out of “fun” activities

We often assume that the consequence alone will fix it.

But here’s the hard truth:

Consequences don’t teach skills.

If a child doesn’t have the skill, they cannot magically perform it just because something unpleasant happened last time.

That’s why we have to move beyond only asking:
“What’s the function of the behavior?”

And start asking the more powerful question:
“What skill is this child missing?”

Is it:

• Emotional regulation?

• Impulse control?

• Understanding expectations in unstructured settings?

• Coping with sensory overload?

• Problem-solving with peers?

Once we identify the missing skill, that’s when real change becomes possible.

Because behavior improves when:

• We teach replacement behaviors

• We practice them proactively

• We support the child in the setting where the behavior actually happens

Not when we simply remove them and hope for the best.

So no—this isn’t about letting kids “get away with it.”

It’s about being effective.

Stop kicking kids off the bus.
Stop isolating them at lunch.
Stop taking away recess as the only plan.

If consequences aren’t paired with explicit skill-building, the behavior won’t change.

And every time we repeat the cycle, we’re not just losing time—we’re missing an opportunity to teach a child how to succeed.

Because real behavior change doesn’t come from exclusion.
It comes from instruction.